Adulting 101

MTMwNDAxMjAxMDAxOTA4MjM0I just got engaged a month ago and my 26th birthday is now around the corner, and as I reflect on my 20s and the journey I’ve gone through thus far, I realise that there’s still a lot of ‘adulting’ I have yet to come around to. Things like understanding the step-by-step process of doing your taxes (mine gets magically sent off by my colleague), how to properly organise your expenses (I keep the occasional serious receipt), how to start saving (should I already have an investment portfolio going??), and all that other good ol’ grown-up shit.

So, as a present to myself, I’ve decided to dedicate a series of posts to “Adulting” (which is really just knowing how to Google things right?); in the hopes that by the time I finish my mid-20s, I’ll feel fairly confident that I’m not shirking off the do-or-die duties of making it out alright in life. I’m hoping that you, whoever you are, will find some use of these posts and that we can become comrades in our journey to becoming grown-up…er. And, if you are reading this and have already mastered these adult-ways in which they neglect to teach you in college, well, I hope you can chime in with your own wise words by leaving a comment below. Seriously… I think we could all use the help!

So anyway, back to Adulting 101. With this introductory post, I will conclude with the four P’s I follow for making life easier:

  1. It’s all about Perspective – one of the things that I personally practice whenever life gives me lemons is to try and find the positive perspective out of the situation, no matter how dire and sour. I like to approach life with “you win and you learn,” you only lose if you don’t learn from whatever happened. I learned this outlook at an Anthony Robbin’s seminar I attended when I was 16 (Tiger Mom sent me, ’nuff writ). He dimmed the lights and had us all close our eyes and relive the most difficult and tragic memory we had ever experienced. Mine, undoubtedly, went back to the night we got the call that my father passed. That night changed me, my family and our collective lives forever. Reliving it was hard enough, then Tony had us start looking at that same experience through different perspectives, then at different timelines. We were to keep on changing it until finally, we found some good from that experience. In my own case, the positive that came from my father’s death is that it forced my entire family to live in the same house and, after a few rough years, we became closer than we ever were and ever could be. Some days I can get really depressed on thinking of how life could have been, but letting go of “What ifs” and changing your perspective to live and love the ‘now,’ is the best thing you can do for yourself and your sanity… Moving on.
  2. Remember your Priorities – the next time you don’t have time for a family day outing or for the gym (or whatever is ‘you’ time) , instead of saying “I don’t have time for it,” try saying: “it’s not my priority,” and see if that changes how you organise your schedule. It’s important to keep your priorities in check and to make time for them. I know that the higher up you get in the corporate ladder, the more responsibilities you take on and the less time you can allocate to ‘me’ or ‘family’ time. However, remember what truly matters to you in life… think of it as your thesis statement and your actions as the body paragraph of your essay. Your actions and your timetable should reinforce and highlight your priorities and principles in life.
  3. Stick to your Principles – staying true to your principles no matter how many times you’ve been put down, talked shit about or snubbed out is crucial. I completely agree with Katherine Henson when she wrote, “having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.” It takes courage to remain true to your own self and to stick to your values. If you are a radiant person who likes to inspire people with their smile, keep on smiling. If you are a work-out enthusiast who likes to share their routine and progress, keep on flauntin’! The point is, not everyone is going to like you and not every situation is going to go your way, but sticking to your principles and not changing yourself to suit the needs of others takes both courage and confidence. Stay humble, stay true, stay you.
  4. Don’t take things Personally – it doesn’t matter who you are, at some point, people are going to talk shit on you or try to put you down. I know sometimes it’s hard to shrug it off but please, don’t take it personally. There are people who have their own insecurities and project them on others in order to self-satisfy the sadness they feel about themselves. We all have insecurities and we all deal with them in different ways. Of course, I am completely against people putting others down for any reasons, but I do also understand that we all go through our own stressful times in life and sometimes aren’t aware of how we are dealing with them. Friends can let friends know when they’re doing this and hopefully things will change and remember, try not to take things personally.

Well! There you have it guys, the intro post to Adulting 101. I hope you enjoyed reading this and please do leave comments below for your own pointers of what you’ve mastered over your years of ‘growing up.’Also, if any of you are brides or brides-to-be, please leave any tips and pointers for me!

Thanks and until the next post,

Samantha xx

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~ by colormehongkong on August 15, 2016.

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